Happy Thanksgiving!
But today is not to be “Turkey Day” at the Pambulon Heights Donut Club HQ. Unfortunately, plans to leave the Dakotaloaf region to visit relatives fell through due to unforeseen circumstances. Since there is not an *abundance of prepared food here today someone thought it a good idea to get KFC for dinner, (uhhhh-suming they are even open) a suggestion with which I concur (again, assuming they’re open).
And that got me thinking about KFC. And KFC buckets. And Buckethead.
And that reminded me about the time I was wondering about the size of Buckethead’s head. Which lead, naturally, to wondering about the size of the KFC buckets in general. Like, what is their capacity? Besides 12 pieces of chicken how much stuff can one hold? A gallon? Two gallons? So this one time a few years ago I actually.. Well, I’ll just quote myself:
Interesting info, but now I’m curious as to the volume of the actual physical bucket itself.
I called [KFC’s] 1-800 number just now and spoke to a very nice lady who must have thought I was insane asking about the dimensions of their buckets. After establishing, by route of a rather circuitous and convoluted conversation (which I shall not labor to repeat), that I was interested not in the sizes of their meals but that of their containers, she declined to answer my query as the information is apparently either unavailable or a protected trade secret. She offered to send me some other irrelevant information on the matter, perhaps to placate and stymie my curiosity, (or perhaps she thought I was engaging in corporate espionage and was fishing for my address) but I suddenly became frightened and didn’t wish to reveal my location out of an *abundance of paranoia. So I lied and, due to the sudden fear and an inability to create an otherwise plausible excuse, said I live on a submarine and wouldn’t be able to receive mail.
So now I guess that information is forever to remain a mystery…
And so I still don’t know how much a KFC bucket can hold besides Buckethead’s head and 12 pieces of chicken. Presumably not at the same time.
*The word of the day is “abundance”, as from the great cornucopia in the sky comes an abundance of stuff. And now that my internal cognitive map has been crosswired I’m able to imagine a KFC-bucket-shaped cornucopia springing forth an endless abundance of their original recipe fried chicken. Take that, Colonel Sanders!
